i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
