how can u be prego again
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
