I wish life had little blips of pornography
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
