Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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