drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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