i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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