your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
