I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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