Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
