I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
