For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
