ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
