Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize