Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
you made out with another girl for some wings
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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