she kept yelling 'call me bella'
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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