mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
you never un-have a 4some
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
