69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize