Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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