Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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