dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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