If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You need a sexual gate keeper
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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