Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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