NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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