walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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