I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
