I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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