Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
someone threw a dead crab at me
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
