i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
