the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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