We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
