I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
