you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
