im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
