One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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