how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
