when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
