I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
