I want to stick my p in your. b.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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