I wish I could teleport
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize