I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
there was a trapeze. enough said
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
