we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize