dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
