She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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