That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize