he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
