Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm gonna fight the coyote
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
