I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize