Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
