ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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