pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
