It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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