You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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