I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
