Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
