it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize