pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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