so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just want to make out with him forever
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
