please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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