Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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