bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
