I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
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