found the other keg... it's in the tree
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
