She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
