I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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