I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
